Kicking through leaves

There's something truly satisfying about a huge drift of autumn leaves. I don't know if this stems from the subtle colour variations of the leaves, the smell, the rustling sound and papery quality, or the formation of drifts beside roads and embankments and their scattering across lawns of verdant green grass.

Whatever it is I am filled with an urge which I've had since childhood and which has never dimmed despite the passage of time...to run through such a drift scrunching and scattering the leaves and sending them gambolling and scurrying. The sound is music to my ears, the thrill edifying, the joy insurmountable. It is such a simple thing to do and yet it fills me with such pleasure and the years fall away. I am the child I once was, naive, innocent and full of wonder. It makes me so happy and yet is so simple. For a few brief moments cares and woes are forgotten and give way to the simple sensation of glee.

Perhaps everyone should do this at least once a year so they release their inner child and remember what it was to enjoy pure fun for fun's sake. Then go and jump in a puddle and do the same! Magic!

Less of a rant

Something had clearly rattled my cage last time. Blame it all on hormones and a head cold, it works for me. Sometimes it seems as if there's a grumpy old git inside me anxious to escape and wreak vengeance on an unsuspecting world. This is not like the usual up beat me at all, I am generally far more jolly and for the last tirade I apologise. I don't try to be hopelessly optimistic, because that can't ever happen either, but I also try not to let the world get me down too much either. It strikes me it's a very odd place and a difficult balance to get right.

I do seriously begin to wonder if every decision we make and every situation we face sets off a parallel universe somewhere else. Some even suggest it can be as mundane as deciding whether or not to have tea or coffee... and when you think about it why not? I mean the choice of whether or not to skip breakfast, nip to the loo now, or even combing your hair can have huge implications when you stop to think about it. How I hear you ask? Well, for example I remember combing my hair hurriedly one morning, wrenching at a tangle and ending up on Ibuprofen for several days and in need of a surgical collar for neck strain as a result! With my head tilted to one side, swollen muscles and what looked like a sports injury following a particularly nasty game of rugby, I couldn't turn my head, drive the car, putting clothes on and off was a nightmare and all because I combed my hair!

I guess if one opts for tea instead of coffee there are other implications, tea is no good if you are queasy and delicate of stomach for example, coffee allegedly wakes you up better.....in my case although tea is meant to be the diuretic coffee has more of an effect that way..... and whilst we're on that subject I also find if I don't go to the loo I almost invariably get stuck in a traffic jam on a motorway for hours......need I say more? So yes, perhaps there is some justification for even the most mundane of decisions setting off a totally different chain of events. I guess that's what chaos theory is all about. Me leaping out of bed and stubbing my toe on the bed post causing stock markets to crash in Europe and the Far East....no surely not, that can't have been my fault can it?

It makes me wonder what all these alternative 'me' characters are up to and more to the point, what are we all actually like? As individuals various social scientists allege we are each the result of everything which happens to us and it affects our personal characteristics traits and flaws. Would I therefore recognise anything of myself in these other 'me' people or would they be entirely different? It would be interesting as a test, to see if nurture and experience did affect personality as many suspect or to be able to conclude despite everything life had thrown at us no obvious alterations had been caused.

It begs the question though, am I living in the best possible version of my own life, in the worst or somewhere fair to middling? Is an alternative me a captain of industry, a mother of ten, the wife of a diplomat, a famous actor, reporter, world traveller, writer, geologist, or 'wealthy farmer'?   Are they more fulfilled, contented, calmer, or stressed, bewildered and care worn? Are they living in the same place, town or country as I do now or somewhere completely different? I have no idea! I do know one day there might be a novel made out of my 'what ifs?' and perhaps for one of my many 'me' characters it will be autobiographical and not pure fiction! I shall have great fun pondering the plot(s) but of course, will never know the truth.

Less is more?

It suddenly feels as if the world is in turmoil. There's so much going on out there and nowadays we seem to hear about it all so quickly. Everyone is asked for their opinion so fast before even all of the facts are in. If there's a natural disaster there are experts about it and I've noticed never the same ones twice. If its an experiment they call in as many scientists as possible to debate it, before there's any information even published to be examined then tested! I know in my own fields of expertise, no matter how limited, because everything is done in such a hurry its often told inaccurately at best or completely incorrectly at worst. There are economic guru's who comment on the crises which are sweeping the world in an unprecedented manner and for which no two appear to have the same answer. There are political and religious upheavals which strike at the heart of many societies and those who comment tread a fine balancing line between bias, accuracy and sentimentality. With so much today the emphasis is on speed and not doing things properly. It isn't just news gathering, it seems to emanate all through society and every job. Get it done now, hurry up, deadlines, time is money etc. then when it all goes awry the legal suits start flying and 'compensation' has to be paid. It makes me wonder if they all hadn't been in such a tearing rush in the first place, if they weren't all so overwhelmed and overworked, driven near hysterical by targets and mandates then just maybe mistakes would never have been made in the first place. There's a lot of truth in the adage 'a stitch in time saves nine' which tells us to attend to problems quickly but also 'more haste less speed' which informs us that doing it properly in the first place is more efficient in the long run!
More care, more patience, more tolerance, more understanding, more faith, more concentration, more attention to detail, more scrupulousness, more endeavour, more achievement, more genuine commitment, more respect leading to more fulfilment, more pride, more happiness and more contentment. Surely that would be better?

Not So Fast

We have been having an extremely warm and dry spell of weather here, after a particularly cold and wet one. This is causing havoc in the natural world and for the domesticated animals too. One minute they are too cold, wet and thoroughly depressed. I keep goats and believe me they can do 'depressed' better than some humans. Constant rain and wind really gets them down. They look out at you with those strange slitted pupils (which alarm many people) and give you a look of both rejection and boredom combined. I say 'look out' because they do this from the vantage point of a warm comfy field shelter whilst I am standing outside in the rain, clad from head to foot in waterproofs and gumboots looking like a reject from a nasty experiment as the clouds wring themselves dry on top of me. You get the picture. Not a happy bunny. I am standing there getting damp checking THEY are alright and they are looking at me with such pugnacious belligerence you'd swear they were blaming me for the inclement weather! Honestly everyone is a critic!

Then when it suddenly went very hot and dry they became confused, along with many spring plants round here, hoodwinked into believing spring had sprung and we were all up for round two! So they started head butting and sorting out who was head of the herd, which they normally establish in the spring...so once 'good friends' in the goat houses are suddenly turning a cold shoulder and no longer speaking in their 'goatish' way to one another....Oh this bodes well for an extremely peaceful winter - I don't think.

One interesting sight was a slow worm on the stone farm track soaking up the rays. I have seen them before but never so close and I was able to really look closely. It was a beautiful bronze colour and fascinated me. If there had not been so much early warm sun that day I probably would never have seen it. I never realised until I bothered to look it up, these are lizards 'sans' legs and not snakes at all. Sadly they are persecuted because they are confused with snakes and more especially young Adders which are the only venomous snakes in Britain. The slow worm is entirely harmless and does not deserve to be killed needlessly through fear. I felt very privileged to have seen it and I share this with you.

I have no idea what the winter will bring or how beautiful the autumn colours will be, but I wait with anticipation to see.