Something had clearly rattled my cage last time. Blame it all on hormones and a head cold, it works for me. Sometimes it seems as if there's a grumpy old git inside me anxious to escape and wreak vengeance on an unsuspecting world. This is not like the usual up beat me at all, I am generally far more jolly and for the last tirade I apologise. I don't try to be hopelessly optimistic, because that can't ever happen either, but I also try not to let the world get me down too much either. It strikes me it's a very odd place and a difficult balance to get right.
I do seriously begin to wonder if every decision we make and every situation we face sets off a parallel universe somewhere else. Some even suggest it can be as mundane as deciding whether or not to have tea or coffee... and when you think about it why not? I mean the choice of whether or not to skip breakfast, nip to the loo now, or even combing your hair can have huge implications when you stop to think about it. How I hear you ask? Well, for example I remember combing my hair hurriedly one morning, wrenching at a tangle and ending up on Ibuprofen for several days and in need of a surgical collar for neck strain as a result! With my head tilted to one side, swollen muscles and what looked like a sports injury following a particularly nasty game of rugby, I couldn't turn my head, drive the car, putting clothes on and off was a nightmare and all because I combed my hair!
I guess if one opts for tea instead of coffee there are other implications, tea is no good if you are queasy and delicate of stomach for example, coffee allegedly wakes you up better.....in my case although tea is meant to be the diuretic coffee has more of an effect that way..... and whilst we're on that subject I also find if I don't go to the loo I almost invariably get stuck in a traffic jam on a motorway for hours......need I say more? So yes, perhaps there is some justification for even the most mundane of decisions setting off a totally different chain of events. I guess that's what chaos theory is all about. Me leaping out of bed and stubbing my toe on the bed post causing stock markets to crash in Europe and the Far East....no surely not, that can't have been my fault can it?
It makes me wonder what all these alternative 'me' characters are up to and more to the point, what are we all actually like? As individuals various social scientists allege we are each the result of everything which happens to us and it affects our personal characteristics traits and flaws. Would I therefore recognise anything of myself in these other 'me' people or would they be entirely different? It would be interesting as a test, to see if nurture and experience did affect personality as many suspect or to be able to conclude despite everything life had thrown at us no obvious alterations had been caused.
It begs the question though, am I living in the best possible version of my own life, in the worst or somewhere fair to middling? Is an alternative me a captain of industry, a mother of ten, the wife of a diplomat, a famous actor, reporter, world traveller, writer, geologist, or 'wealthy farmer'? Are they more fulfilled, contented, calmer, or stressed, bewildered and care worn? Are they living in the same place, town or country as I do now or somewhere completely different? I have no idea! I do know one day there might be a novel made out of my 'what ifs?' and perhaps for one of my many 'me' characters it will be autobiographical and not pure fiction! I shall have great fun pondering the plot(s) but of course, will never know the truth.
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